Date Yourself Before Dating Anyone Else | Teodora Burgazlieva on 0.1%

Teodora Burgazlieva: Before I met you, it was two years that I decided that I'm not going to date. I'm just going to focus on my career, and I will just stay aside from the dating scene. And one day I was reading a book about self-love and self-discovery, and I realized that I don't know anything about myself, and I was always trying to please the other people around me. When I go to dinner, I will always order whatever the other people will order, just so I can be liked, or to fit in. They will have a drink, and I will have a drink. They will order fish, and I will order fish. Or other things, they will share that they like this type of music, and immediately I will go and search these songs and I will start listening to those songs.

I didn't know myself. I knew so much about the rest of the world, but not about me. So I decided, you know what? I will be dating myself for three months, just as a test, so I can discover who I am and what I like. And I was so scared of being alone. I was really scared to stay on my own. I had a studio back in the days when I was living in New York, and I always would invite people over, have parties there because I was scared. I didn't want to stay on my own.

And in one moment, I was like no. I should start learning who I am, and I need to enjoy my own company. How I want to be loved if I cannot love myself. So I created a plan that every morning I will wake up, I will pretend that I am going on a date with myself, and put make-up. I will do my hair, I will dress in nice lingerie, and I will do beautiful like ... I will put beautiful clothing, nice perfume. I will put little love notes all over the house, on my computer. Even at work, I will go for dinners only on my own. I will reserve a table for one, and the people were really looking at me like, "Wow, she's crazy," but I didn't care.

I start reading a lot. I will go for a walk with a book, and it was amazing because I start like falling in love with myself. I realized that I'm so much more of what I thought about myself. I realized what I like, what I dislike, and I decided that I'm not going to cheat on myself. So anytime I had an offer for a date from a guy, I was like, "No, I'm sorry, I'm busy." I even bought myself a little ring, and I was carrying it with me, and my co-workers thought that I'm completely crazy because they were seeing me writing love notes on my computer desktop, and they're like, "What are you doing?" Like, "Are you going again, on a date with your own self?" I was like, "Yeah, it's beautiful, it's amazing. You should try that."

And three months later, I was a different person. I was so happy with my own self that I decided that I don't need to date. And if something happens, and if I meet someone like you that is super amazing and makes me even happier, it's okay, but I don't really need anyone. And I encourage people, especially those ones who are afraid of being alone, to start dating themselves, and to start just enjoying their own company, and find ways to make themselves happy. Buy yourself gifts. Buy yourself this beautiful dress that you always dreamed of. And send yourself flowers, invite yourself to a nice dinner. Do things for yourself. Massage yourself. Hug yourself. It's amazing. It's a lot of fun.

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After years of testing, after all experiences as a professional racing driver, an entrepreneur, a Neuro-Linguistic Programming Coach, and simply a human being that wants to grow, I've narrowed down a set of skills that help me win the day, the week, and the game of life.

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